The Troika: A blog about nothing

November 20, 2008

Bus Blabber

Filed under: Uncategorized — blackhairedgenie @ 9:56 pm

So yesterday, I decided to work from home and a lot of things transpired at work. I should have known, I should have known!

 

I got a series of emails in the lines of….

 

===

Hello,

 

On behalf of the staff and management of Rabbit Transit, we are pleased to award you with the “Rider of the Month” award!  This honor is given only to our best riders, like yourself.  

 

As a token of our appreciation, we’d like to give you the following special gifts:

 

-          A free bus pass to anywhere Rabbit Transit travels (this offer good only on the East Market Street business corridor route between the Licatese Hair Salon and the Home Depot). 

-          Premier first-class boarding is now yours!  You no longer have to wait in-line at the bus stop or in the bathtub to enjoy your Rabbit Transit experience.    

-          Preferred seating!  We have reserved the front seat for you — next to the bus driver — it is nice and clean, totally stain free and sanitized for your protection.  

 

We look forward to your continued ridership on Rabbit Transit — and look out for your picture, name and address to appear on our new billboards that will be posted near all local bars, homeless shelters, and pawn shops in the greater York metro area.  Again, Congratulations!

===

 

Congratulations!!!  What an honor for you.  Perhaps we will see you on a billboard by the side of the road or maybe even on one of those “clever” television ads.

 

I heard the last winner of this award was “discovered” by a famous porn producer and now is a star.  Just think….we can say we knew you when…..

===

 

And then this morning, when I got to work, there was a file marked “PRIORITY” waiting at my desk. I opened it and this is what I found:

 priority1

Visitors

Filed under: Uncategorized — blackhairedgenie @ 1:12 am

image1053Bizarre things happen here on Mondays.

I was sitting and diligently typing away (another blog entry of course)… with smoke rising out of the keyboard… when I decide to turn around to take a book or something. And I jumped out of my skin when I saw a tiny furry gray mouse waiting at the entrance of my cubicle! Thankfully it was a battery operated one and I could hear my mischiveous colleague giggling in her cubicle.

“Now if you dont want your little furry friend”, I warned “I am going to eat him for lunch!”
I had a vegetarian lunch. So, no sweat.

A while  ago, I found a tiny ceramic angel waiting at my cubicle entrance. This angel visits people in the cubicles off and on and is seen as a good thing. It means that I have been such an angel today :)

I have decided to keep her for a while. One of the colorful things I have heard about this angel is that she has got a reputation. She was wearing an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini when they found her the first time, last summer.

Hmm… No Angel, this.

September 7, 2008

Life is what happens to you when you are expecting another routine day

Filed under: Uncategorized — lonedanger1 @ 9:15 pm

 

One wintry evening a few months ago, a colleague of mine had a rather traumatic experience: the ground below her suddenly gave way and she paid a brief but terrifying visit to the Netherworld. The bus stop from which she takes the staff bus back home is, at that hour of evening, as chaotic as the well of the stock exchange. There was an uncovered manhole in that busy area, quietly lurking in a corner, waiting for its prey, not making a sound. A combination of the early winter dusk and insufficient lighting, the prevailing chaos, the city authorities’ callousness, and her own preoccupation conspired to ensure that she stepped into that open manhole. She had a brief free fall; fortunately the manhole was not deep, and when she frantically shouted for help, willing hands pulled her out into safety and God’s clean air. She emerged, shaken but not seriously hurt. Also, because of some oily sludge at the bottom of the manhole, she must have smelled like an oil drum for three days, though she would not admit it.

 

She is none the worse for her brief acquaintanceship with the city’s sewage system. She has had elaborate correspondence with the authorities in the organization, in which she has vented her spleen for their indifference. When one mentions her mishap to people in a group, she achieves instant celebrity status. She will, I am sure, have a good story to tell her grandchildren, years from now. (“Gather round, boys and girls, and listen quietly while Grandma tells you about the evening she fell into a manhole…Bobby, stop picking your nose and listen!”)

 

This incident made me think about some of the near disasters I have had, some of which made me briefly famous (for, I am highly egotistic and would not believe that I lack in any area in comparison with my fellow humans). I have had my share of falls and injuries in my boyhood – after all boys will be boys. I have fallen on my face and broken a few teeth; once the fat kid next door and I got into a fight and he banged a saucepan on my cheek next to my eye; once I fell down the stairs and survived without broken bones; I nearly drowned in a pond during one summer vacation. However, there are two incidents that stand out because they are bizarre.

 

Monkey in a DTC bus: How that monkey got into the bus, I will never know. Why it came toddling up to me – ignoring everyone else – I will never know. I felt someone – or something – holding my right leg and concluding it was a child, bent down to shake it off. It was not a child, it was a monkey and it went berserk. It bit my right arm, quite literally chewing on the thumb. It concluded its performance by biting my ankles; then it let go, glared at me, and then disappeared. Added to the pain and the tetanus shots, was the embarrassment. Tell people that you were bitten by a dog and you get sympathetic looks. Tell ‘em you were bitten by a monkey, and they either become incredulous or try to hide their laughter. When I revealed that the bus was in front of a well known women’s college during the incident, the monkey became a she-monkey in people’s imagination – and the laughter got louder.

 

Dettol Protection: I must have been particularly inquisitive as a kid. This – apart from stupidity – is the only reason to explain why, at the age of six, I drank almost half a bottle of Dettol. Maybe the world seemed new and full of wonderful possibilities and chances for experimentation. I remember seeing the bottle on a window sill, going glug-glug-glug, and then proudly announcing the fact to everyone. I hope my folks have forgiven me for that by now. I survived without harm; I also hope I have life-long Dettol protection now.

 

After all, some good has to come out of life’s misadventures.

May 27, 2008

Melbourne Memoirs (Concluding)

Filed under: Uncategorized — lonedanger1 @ 8:09 pm

 

*4th May, 2008*

 

We left Melbourne’s neat, orderly, sparsely populated Tullamarine International Airport sometime around midnight and took the long, uncomfortable, bumpy nine-hour flight to Bangkok. We arrived early morning; the plane descended through layers of clouds of various shapes, sizes, religious denominations, and political convictions - and finally set us down on a rain-drenched runway. We may have arrived just after a heavy downpour as there was a thin sheet of water on the runway.

 

While checking in at Tullamarine, the (obviously) Australian lady at the counter negotiated my heinously long South Indian name without batting an eyelid. I would have thought she would clutch her throat, shout “Air, I need air, Mavis”, and then faint after seeing my name. It did not happen; she stayed calm and civil. However, there was a mild alarm (I caused myself an alarm, that is) when the scanning machine at the counter did not scan my passport. Apparently, this was due to my name being too long and not – as my fertile imagination told me – because they had discovered (after 5 weeks!) that I was a security threat to the country, or they thought I was smuggling out heroin, or they thought I was Harbhajan Singh in disguise. Take your pick.

 

Bangkok airport is huge and could rival that of Singapore; it seemed to be modeled on Singapore’s Changi airport. After walking what seemed like half a mile, I came to an enquiry desk, and, well, enquired about the day room where I hoped to spend the 11 hours before my flight back to Delhi. I then walked another half-mile to the day lodge. When I spoke to the women at the desk I became aware of two things:

 

- If you are a transit passenger, you are as good as the homeless who depend on others. You have no means and are searching for a shelter, and will be treated with the contempt and condescension reserved for such wretches.

- I was no longer in Australia – these women would not smile and greet me but regarded me sullenly and suspiciously.

 

“This pass entitles you to six hours, remember,” said the receptionist curtly after I had completed half an hour of paperwork. (And sure enough they would call my room exactly six hours after I checked in, to make sure that I did not take their hospitality for granted.) This meant that I would need to wander through Bangkok airport for five hours, a little like that bloke in the movie The Terminal.

 

I found my room, and promptly fell into an exhausted asleep, dreaming of home and mum’s cooking. I awoke an hour later, hungry and still exhausted, and wandered off in search of something to eat. Lunch was not yet ready. I communicated with the waitress in the cafeteria by means of a combination of sign language and slow English spoken with grotesque, exaggerated lip movements. She finally understood that since this freak of nature was a VEGETARIAN, yet needed to have BREAKFAST to stay alive, he would eat some FRENCH TOAST, since all the other items on the menu consisted of things that once used to run or fly or swim. She nodded intelligently and said, “Fvench Tose.”

 

The cost of French toast, after conversion from Baht, came to 4 dollars and 25 cents.

 

“I will make that five dollars”, she said conveniently, with the ease of an acquaintance who had known me from school. I sighed and smiled – I was certainly getting closer to home.

 

In Australia, the waitress – unless she was a grump – would have greeted me with a cheery “How’s it going”, helped me with the menu by listing the ingredients of the items so I could go back home a vegetarian, and would have counted out the exact change with a cheery “Have nice day.”

 

As I sat in a corner, eating my French toast alone, the warmth of my own anonymity enveloping me, I reflected that I had no reason to be patronizing or prejudiced just because I had spent five weeks in a foreign land outside Asia. These people were Asians like me, and it was our Asian-ness that united us. Just as they were not by nature wildly extroverted, well, not was I. Perhaps, this is why I was comfortable with them despite our differences. Perhaps it was because my countrymen and these people shared a slower, more philosophical, if somewhat pensive approach to life.

May 22, 2008

For All Good Times

Filed under: Uncategorized — blackhairedgenie @ 12:50 am
Tags:

While Sunshine Gurl cribbed yesterday, the Blackhairedgenie was having a whale of a time. No, really. And it was after a really long time. Months, actually. Apart from believing in magic and two-piece clad fictitious beings (read genies), I love wandering about and if it rains, I could just flip.

Even though the Gurl and Genie are not in the same city at the moment, they have always shared lovely moments in CP, the bestest place to be with friends. CP used to be great fun when the Gurl and Genie got together. We have bunked work on a lazy day and ended up in Berco’s (before it shifted) to munch on crispy honeyed chicken and to contemplate on Life. Metro rides to wherever. Coffee in CCD and passing time in Tantra. There was a rainy mid morning spent in a cosy place with yummy drinks and appetizers. Oh the exhilarating reeling feeling afterwards — of a day well spent! Oh, and do you remember how we hummed an exceptionally sticky song from Naya Daur much to the bewilderment of the rickshaw driver? Oh yes, we went to CP that day too. And now, months have passed ever since you have moved cities.  

Have we had orange icecandies in CP, Gurl? Have we shopped for books in CP, Gurl? Did we go shopping in Janpath together, Gurl? I don’t remember. Although, I clearly remember having wished that some of those days would just never end. Ironically, even a Genie’s wish can go unanswered. 

Come back to CP , Sunshine Gurl. And walk, with a certain BlackHairedGenie, in the rain.

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